For Stacey, the journey to finding safety and self-worth has been a lifelong battle against severe intergenerational trauma, domestic abuse, and systemic barriers.
When she first walked through the doors of the Lismore Community Hub, she was carrying decades of unresolved pain.
“I actually wouldn’t be here today without them. I wouldn’t be here knowing my grandkids or witnessing my kids coming out of care, wanting to be home.”
“It feels like forever. I have a long history of domestic sexual abuse by my biological dad, other family members, and a lot of alcohol and substance abuse—you name it.
And just the fact that I didn’t really have a father growing up—my stepdad was never around, so it was an abandonment of both fathers and my mum, pretty much.
So, it’s been a long journey with counselling, especially to get to that place of recognising that I was still traumatised by those events.”
At Community Gateway, we believe in a holistic, wraparound model of care. Our integrated services ensure that when an individual enters our hub, they are met with comprehensive support, combining mental health recovery with practical aid.
For Stacey, healing required a therapeutic relationship built on absolute trust, transparency, and clinical expertise.
“It’s been frustrating sometimes…because Shar [Trauma Counsellor] tries to bring out the best in her clients…You don’t really want to hear some of the things that counsellors want to tell you, and you don’t want to go to those places that are going to hurt you, upset you, or make you feel uncomfortable. But it’s her job to push me so I can move forward and learn what emotions are, how to regulate those emotions, and how to feel safe within myself.
Every step of the way, she’s been really supportive and very understanding when I have shut down, felt defensive, or didn’t want to talk. She’s just let me cry, let me be me, and let me experience all the emotions that come with trying to deal with trauma. She’s never made me feel ashamed, bad, or that it was my fault that I was abused or targeted by so many different males and family members throughout my life since I was six years old.
It’s been an incredible help to have someone understand the physical, emotional, and mental sides of abuse and how they affect you.”
Trauma recovery is rarely a linear path. When Stacey faced her darkest moments and struggled with suicidal ideation, the structured, professional response of our team provided a vital safety net that ultimately saved her life.
“With counselling, especially early on, being suicidal was my go-to when I wanted to run, didn’t want to deal with being abused, or didn’t want to admit it. When I was honest about wanting to hurt myself, Shar was very honest back. She had to report it and reach out to mental health services.
We have that mutual respect because I know that’s her job. It’s reassuring to know that if I am feeling suicidal, someone is going to be there for me—even if I don’t want the help, and even if I’m not actively asking for it. It’s just automatically there. That has been a real godsend.”
“Having that support has been life-changing. Without it, I would have kept attempting to end my life, or relying on medication to solve my problems.
If you are struggling, I would say: you are already broken, you don’t have anything left to lose. You are at a place where you’re not going to lose any more than what you already have by accessing help.
Asking for help can lead you to so many support networks, so many friends, and so much assistance in the community that you didn’t even know was there. It can not only change your life personally, but it can also change how you parent your children, how you connect with others in the community, and how you break cycles you never thought you could break.”
